The divorce process is often likened to that of the stock market – couples who go through it are often driven by greed if not fear. These deep-rooted emotions usually lead parents from taking control of anything and everything they can, including kids and money. When children are being used in negotiating for a spouse to get what he or she wants, the other spouse often ends up giving in for fear that the kids may be put in the hot seat.
Unlike the usual game that kids play, there are no winners in the divorce. Couples would always end up getting only half of what they usually get when they were still together. The kids are often the one that loses everything they could dream of from their family. The effects of divorce on children are usually long-lasting. How do you put the children’s needs first in a divorce when all you can think of is how you can get off a marriage that’s making you unhappy?
The answer to this question is pretty simple. If you refuse to play the game with your spouse, then there is no winner or loser. Nobody can play with divorce alone. Instead of worrying about what you are going to end up with after the divorce or thinking about what else you can get from your spouse, it is best to put the kids’ needs first. When you reflect on how you can provide them with emotional support during the divorce, you’re helping them cope up with the change.
Children of couples who are going through a divorce are dealing with more than they could handle at a young age. Some of them might not even understand what the real situation is or why things are happening to their family. Assist them as they navigate their way through the new life with two new homes instead of one. Their needs should always be the priority. When you use this as your guiding principle, you’ll surely go through the separation gracefully.
Can you imagine yourself taking a selfie with your ex-husband after the divorce hearing at court? When you refuse to make the divorce ugly and instead think of the children’s well-being and prioritizing it every step of the way, your divorce will never go wrong.