Divorcing parents usually are spouses who don’t want to talk to each other anymore. But this isn’t possible, especially when they share kids together. Having children makes it a whole different story. Any divorce lawyer you ask will tell you that it would be best if you spent time talking to your spouse about the welfare of the children. Although you hate each other that much, it would help if you set aside such emotions and allow yourself to become good parents to your kids.
Parents need to work together to raise healthy children. Despite the finality of the divorce, parents need to remember the key aspects of good parenting before, during and after the divorce process.
First, you must sit together to discuss the divorce process to the child. Highlight the parts that will significantly affect them and the changes that would have to deal eventually with. As parents, you need to be on the same page as for the plan on how to reveal the truth to your children. It might be hard to imagine it now, but it is imperative that you both know what to tell the kids and how to tell them.
Second, think about the best time to tell your children about the divorce. There is never a good opportunity to tell the children about their family breaking apart, but you will have to find a suitable time to tell them about it. It is important that you consider their personal schedule. Give them enough time to process the information. Be as sensitive to their feelings as you could be. Remember, they are children, and they might have a hard time processing overwhelming information as the divorce of their parents.
Third, be prepared to answer all the questions that kids may have about the relationship, including the reasons why you filed for the divorce. It may be hard to talk to them without bad mouthing your former spouse, but it would be best to be civil about the information you will reveal. After all, the one you are negating is the other parent they look up to. Be concrete with the information that you provide, but be reassuring of how much the children are loved.
Stop and think. You may not have second thoughts about filing for divorce, but it would be best to stop and think about how it would affect the children. Talk to your divorce lawyer and ask them for advice. They might have a few ideas in mind on how you can go about telling the kids about the finality of the divorce.